"The Royal Challengers Of Bangalore or The Royal Chokers?"
"Hard to believe its RCB & not the South Africans."
"So near yet so far, yet another season of absolute agony for the boys in Red & Gold."
"Its all about Chris Gayle really."
Hi. I am an ardent RCB supporter.
Been there but never done that.
But Chokers? BULLSHIT I SAY!
To choke, you need a team, where is my team?
Season 6, done & dusted, about time we should look into what all went wrong for us. Like the last season. & the last last season. & okay fine, lets not dwell on the fact that the luring trophy of The Indian Premier League travels to our neighbourhood every other year but adamant to spend a night with us even.
Fault is ours, really.
Cricket is what? A team game. Right, RCB ain't got a team. It althought isn't a "One man army" as the newspapers would suggest you. Its more like a "One superman & Two men Army". To be precise. Christopher not-so-human Henry Gayle. Abraham all-around-the-park Benjamin de Villiers. & ofcourse Captain, Virat Kohli. Let the numbers help us a bit. In the 15 games played this season, Trio/Total team runs is 1613/2465. Now thats some 65% of the entire runs & 11 of all the 13 fifties scored. & its a bit unacceptable.
You could compare RCB's batting line-up with a chewing gum. The cheap one that gets tasteless in very quick time. You take out 1, 3, 4 out of it, you ain't got a line-up any more but some "extremely talented" guys trying to slog all the time, that too, unsuccesfully.
The Saurabh Tiwarys, Mayank Agarwals, Rahuls have taken too long to come to the party. & the party is still running.
WHERE ARE THEY?
We are in need of an Ambati Rayudu or a Stuart Binny. Really. No more Tiwarys, please.
So that was the batting outrage.
Hold on to your seats.
Here comes the bowling outrage.
Wait a minute.
RCB's got a bowling attack?
Neither a bowling nor an attack.
RCB possesses 4 guys who come in running with a white ball every match. For the sake of a game.
Because? Formalities.
Often known as the 200s club team (i.e who gives away 200 & scores 200), The Royal Challengers form a bowling line-up that gets hit out of the park regularly at the death.
& regularly in the powerplay too.
& regularly in the middle, alas, yes, that too.
If batting line up was a chewing gum, bowling is the wrapper of the gum. No, I'm not being critical. It is what it is.
Good for nothing.
You could classify the RCB bowlers into three categories
"Hard to believe its RCB & not the South Africans."
"So near yet so far, yet another season of absolute agony for the boys in Red & Gold."
"Its all about Chris Gayle really."
Hi. I am an ardent RCB supporter.
Been there but never done that.
But Chokers? BULLSHIT I SAY!
To choke, you need a team, where is my team?
Season 6, done & dusted, about time we should look into what all went wrong for us. Like the last season. & the last last season. & okay fine, lets not dwell on the fact that the luring trophy of The Indian Premier League travels to our neighbourhood every other year but adamant to spend a night with us even.
Fault is ours, really.
Cricket is what? A team game. Right, RCB ain't got a team. It althought isn't a "One man army" as the newspapers would suggest you. Its more like a "One superman & Two men Army". To be precise. Christopher not-so-human Henry Gayle. Abraham all-around-the-park Benjamin de Villiers. & ofcourse Captain, Virat Kohli. Let the numbers help us a bit. In the 15 games played this season, Trio/Total team runs is 1613/2465. Now thats some 65% of the entire runs & 11 of all the 13 fifties scored. & its a bit unacceptable.
You could compare RCB's batting line-up with a chewing gum. The cheap one that gets tasteless in very quick time. You take out 1, 3, 4 out of it, you ain't got a line-up any more but some "extremely talented" guys trying to slog all the time, that too, unsuccesfully.
The Saurabh Tiwarys, Mayank Agarwals, Rahuls have taken too long to come to the party. & the party is still running.
WHERE ARE THEY?
We are in need of an Ambati Rayudu or a Stuart Binny. Really. No more Tiwarys, please.
So that was the batting outrage.
Hold on to your seats.
Here comes the bowling outrage.
Wait a minute.
RCB's got a bowling attack?
Neither a bowling nor an attack.
RCB possesses 4 guys who come in running with a white ball every match. For the sake of a game.
Because? Formalities.
Often known as the 200s club team (i.e who gives away 200 & scores 200), The Royal Challengers form a bowling line-up that gets hit out of the park regularly at the death.
& regularly in the powerplay too.
& regularly in the middle, alas, yes, that too.
If batting line up was a chewing gum, bowling is the wrapper of the gum. No, I'm not being critical. It is what it is.
Good for nothing.
You could classify the RCB bowlers into three categories
The good & The
Potentially good - Rampaul & RVK.
The good on their days - Unadkat & Murali Karthik.
Below par, mostly (I'm being modest) - RP Singh, Abhimanyu Mithun, Dan Christian, Moises Henriques & (heartbroken to say) Muralidharan.
The good on their days - Unadkat & Murali Karthik.
Below par, mostly (I'm being modest) - RP Singh, Abhimanyu Mithun, Dan Christian, Moises Henriques & (heartbroken to say) Muralidharan.
Firstly, none to strike, to spearhead, to lead.
Like a Dale Steyn.
Or a Mitch Johnson.
& none to compliment either.
Like An Ishant to Steyn. Or a Senanayake to Naraine.
Or a Watson. or a Kallis.
Then, stupid selections. Its as hard as it gets. However the worst one was reserved for the must win encounter against KXIP at Bangalore. Murali who has been worse than his worst giving away 40s & 30s every other game was selected ahead of Murali Kartik. The good old "only four overseas players rule" forced Rampaul to warm the bench. Anyway Dan overrated Christian getting two games says it.
Breathe in, breathe out.Bowling. Yay.
Fielding up next.
This particular season, its been pretty average inclined towards poor. Its a shame to say so when your team consists of Virat Kohli & AB de Villiers. But Captain, to his utter poor fate, missed a few.
Of the all, the Miller one will go down in history if it hasn't already.
Ah and yes the away encounter at the Feroz shah Kotla. The team that is competing for the wooden spoon and the team that almost forgot the winning ways nearly coasted to victory and that stands one of the worst ever fielding displays you would ever see. There is more to it actually and this should sum up things. With four runs off last two balls needed Vihari and Steyn were allowed a couple where one run itself was supposed to be tough.
Happens, yes. But Virat, you did drop the match, son.
& maybe the playoff spot too.
& if you ask me, too many "slow-movers" for comfort.
But you really can't blame the fielding much when there ain't much to field. Not joking.
THE BALL IS IN THE AIR ALL THE TIME, MAN.
& out of the park, ofcourse.
Ladies & Gentlemen, this doesn't mark the end.
Two ultra-dreaded things.
One Virat blames for his grey locks at 24.
(& he really has got a few.)
Other AB swore never to be a part of, again.
Yes guys, last balls & Super Overs.
Every single word uttered till now results in these two. What you could say, the combined failure. We took match winning scores to last overs & then last balls & eventually, came second a number of times.
And spare a thought for those two super overs. With Steyn bowling the one first night, one would easily assume the result & it spanned as much as the assumption. Next one, probably bored from the result of the first, Rampaul somehow dragged the sinking ship ashore.
Now that hurts. Big time.
And finally to sum up, RCB should change everything except the top three. Probably the best ever you could say. And auctions cant come at a better time. Retain Gayle, Virat, ABDV and Vinay[Yes, I am serious. He -If I have a good memory- is also a million dollar man and a wicket taking Indian bowler(if not pacer) who could well do a supporting role to a world-class strike bowler.]
Shopping list :
1)A strike bowler
2)A proper fielding coach
3)Anchor batsmen or the crisis man. Badrinath mould. To save the sinking ship.
4)In ABDV we have world's best finisher and we need another Indian finisher who is atleast half of the South African. Binny mould. Finish it off.
5)It's Indian premier league and it's happening in India. Always Out of favour Murali Kartik, No form, only reputation Murali, Errr who Syed Mohammed. Spin. Win.
6)A genuine allrounder. Watson or Perera or Kallis mould. Hit to victory. Strike to crucial breakthroughs. & most importantly, balance the entire seesaw.
Inspite of whatever happens (RCB qualifying/missing out playoffs), this season has been a disappointment. And even (-that is highly impossible- if RCB qualifies, It is even more impossible to overcome one of the best ever T20 team and the mighty Indians from Mumbai given the form of the team away.
Bravo, Virat. Given that you shall be a better leader next time.
& do not drop Miller again. Okay?
More like a 5.5/10 on the final report card.
(Being a tough teacher is much fun. Ha!)
Adios. Project IPL(VII). Fingers crossed.
Like a Dale Steyn.
Or a Mitch Johnson.
& none to compliment either.
Like An Ishant to Steyn. Or a Senanayake to Naraine.
Or a Watson. or a Kallis.
Then, stupid selections. Its as hard as it gets. However the worst one was reserved for the must win encounter against KXIP at Bangalore. Murali who has been worse than his worst giving away 40s & 30s every other game was selected ahead of Murali Kartik. The good old "only four overseas players rule" forced Rampaul to warm the bench. Anyway Dan overrated Christian getting two games says it.
Breathe in, breathe out.
Fielding up next.
This particular season, its been pretty average inclined towards poor. Its a shame to say so when your team consists of Virat Kohli & AB de Villiers. But Captain, to his utter poor fate, missed a few.
Of the all, the Miller one will go down in history if it hasn't already.
Ah and yes the away encounter at the Feroz shah Kotla. The team that is competing for the wooden spoon and the team that almost forgot the winning ways nearly coasted to victory and that stands one of the worst ever fielding displays you would ever see. There is more to it actually and this should sum up things. With four runs off last two balls needed Vihari and Steyn were allowed a couple where one run itself was supposed to be tough.
Happens, yes. But Virat, you did drop the match, son.
& maybe the playoff spot too.
& if you ask me, too many "slow-movers" for comfort.
But you really can't blame the fielding much when there ain't much to field. Not joking.
THE BALL IS IN THE AIR ALL THE TIME, MAN.
& out of the park, ofcourse.
Ladies & Gentlemen, this doesn't mark the end.
Two ultra-dreaded things.
One Virat blames for his grey locks at 24.
(& he really has got a few.)
Other AB swore never to be a part of, again.
Yes guys, last balls & Super Overs.
Every single word uttered till now results in these two. What you could say, the combined failure. We took match winning scores to last overs & then last balls & eventually, came second a number of times.
And spare a thought for those two super overs. With Steyn bowling the one first night, one would easily assume the result & it spanned as much as the assumption. Next one, probably bored from the result of the first, Rampaul somehow dragged the sinking ship ashore.
Now that hurts. Big time.
And finally to sum up, RCB should change everything except the top three. Probably the best ever you could say. And auctions cant come at a better time. Retain Gayle, Virat, ABDV and Vinay[Yes, I am serious. He -If I have a good memory- is also a million dollar man and a wicket taking Indian bowler(if not pacer) who could well do a supporting role to a world-class strike bowler.]
Shopping list :
1)A strike bowler
2)A proper fielding coach
3)Anchor batsmen or the crisis man. Badrinath mould. To save the sinking ship.
4)In ABDV we have world's best finisher and we need another Indian finisher who is atleast half of the South African. Binny mould. Finish it off.
5)It's Indian premier league and it's happening in India. Always Out of favour Murali Kartik, No form, only reputation Murali, Errr who Syed Mohammed. Spin. Win.
6)A genuine allrounder. Watson or Perera or Kallis mould. Hit to victory. Strike to crucial breakthroughs. & most importantly, balance the entire seesaw.
Inspite of whatever happens (RCB qualifying/missing out playoffs), this season has been a disappointment. And even (-that is highly impossible- if RCB qualifies, It is even more impossible to overcome one of the best ever T20 team and the mighty Indians from Mumbai given the form of the team away.
Bravo, Virat. Given that you shall be a better leader next time.
& do not drop Miller again. Okay?
More like a 5.5/10 on the final report card.
(Being a tough teacher is much fun. Ha!)
Adios. Project IPL(VII). Fingers crossed.
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