Chinnaswamy Zindabaad!

From drizzling to sixer show to bowling scare, it was all the typical Bangalore at show on 13/05/2013 when RCB were matched up against the ‘always terrible’ Delhi Daredevils. The buzz around the Chinnasamy was unbelievable at around 3 pm itself that you would be forgiven for thinking it’s an evening game. 

The innumerable police force and the ‘full black’ gym boys aka the private security force was at full force making a mini traffic jam in Queen’s road on the pretext of working. They basically had nothing to do with an exception of only one instance when a bunch of kids ran near the gate when they assumed- after watching the police and security lining up on either side of the road-the players are about to arrive. When asked about it,

“Bhai, RCB would arrive now. They have to warm up no? And add net practice to that. They should be here by 3 30 or so” 

They little knew the team would arrive three hours later than they imagined and they were happy to get a close look of their favourite stars, with the most favourite being Gayle and ABDV, finally after a long wait. Not surprisingly their enthusiasm never dropped in that three hours and in fact it went up with every minute in anticipation which was very much visible in their answers to my questions.

Starting with “Jeetega bhai jeetega bhai RCB jeetega”, their most favourite player among Gayle, Virat and ABDV was Gayle because “Gayle can hit big sixes”. Hardly a surprise again and they never seemed to care about the fee paid for Yuvi  that ate the fund which would have accounted a reliable bench nor did they singled out any player for team’s terrible fortunes unlike the Social media. I was taken aback when they moved to the Chinnasamy bus stop after the team bus entered the stadium. I ran towards them and wondered aloud to know, “We were just here to get a glance at em and now we have to hurry back home so that we don’t miss the toss”. 

Oh the tales about unadultered bunch of real fans and thankfully there were different sets of people to entertain- Those lot who wanted to buy tickets, Those few who wanted to sell tickets, those vendors wanting to make everything out of this one odd day and finally those who were restless to get inside the stadium. The beauty of this, obviously, is the tales everyone had. The first set- those who wanted to buy tickets- were the best of the lot. They never cared to hide their desperation to get tickets running here and there with rubber banded hundred rupee notes.  All they did was to ask anyone and everyone if they were selling the ‘825’ tickets. They had little luck though. They rarely found sellers of the cheapest tickets in Chinnasamy. The luck was not with the few sellers as well as they were finding takers for costlier tickets. Maybe the franchise should consider revising the ticket structure which hardly made any sense.

There was no trouble whatsoever in getting into the stadium which took just five minutes from the gate to seat with four minutes going in Police/Watch dogs massaging- well, almost- you in the name of checking for things you are not supposed to take inside the stadium.  As I walked off the remaining one minute, I spent it cursing the stupid Bangalore weather which had a terrible sense of timing. If we had an Indian Premier League on weather, Bangalore would have been the unopposed ever existing champions. The game play of weather was that good. 

It went from no hint of any rain to drizzling to stopping for a while delaying the toss by just twenty minutes to drizzling again to raining to drizzling again and it was 8 40 pm when it decided to show some mercy on us. The stadium workers would have cursed rains as much as we did or even more than we did because they were the ultimate losers having to take covers on and off. 

The toss was just fun watching Virat looking upto KP which had the same effect of watching Parthiv and Gayle together.  Nothing was audible and I deciphered KP is quite lanky.

Aaaaar Ceeee Beeeeiii slowly became Weee want sixxx as Gayle took the strike. Gayle being a good man responded tonking Shami over midwicket.  Having let Duminy escape in the first over Gayle was not prepared to waste the second opportunity. Sending one ball to second tier, he hit a four. Just as the crowd believed he hits six whenever asked for, he saw his stumps fly coming down the wicket trying to smash Shukla. Jersey number 18 was the next. He looked as troubled as ‘Ashwin against Maxwell’. Just as the example there was only winner out there as Virat failed again. However as a sequel to Ashwin Maxwell tale, Yuvi looked as comfortable as Maxwell treating every other bowler as his Ashwin.

One interesting thing is the crowd never really seemed to worry with falling wickets. The cheer for the next batsman was increasing with every wicket till ABDV got out. Because Sachin Rana was the next batsman. ABDV was welcomed with the loudest cheer and he made sweetest sound with his bat. The sound of ball hitting his bat was as gorgeous as the man himself. Abraham Benjamin de Villers is all about love. He is kind of a super hero who never disappoints anyone. He appreciated the crowd whenever possible- thumbs up, clap, oh that beautiful smile- and the crowd didn’t hold back its love for the man. If you ask me, the most loved, most appreciated and undoubtedly the most gorgeous player in Chinnasamy is him. I hope I can express my love for ABDV someday.

The crowd erupted with Aaaaai Beeeee Deeeeeeee and it seemed everyone in the crowd is leading a troubless life with unbelievable joy dancing on their faces. And then their love was bowled ending up in a faint Aar Cee B chant. To be honest, no one in the stadium thought we would celebrate Diwali in a while. Every six of Yuvi was greeted like a Diwali. The Yuvraj Singh trademark bat swing was back with crowd going crazy from Aaaaaar Ceee Beeeeee to Yuviiiiiiiiii Yuviiiiiiii to Singh is King.

RCB started defending its total with no one daring to predict the outcome of the result after what Smith and Faulkner did. With every over the crowd lost a substantial part of its nail and nothing was left to bite during the final five usually nightmare overs. For a change, RCB managed to do the impossible- Defending a total.

Virat Kohli’s celebration after victory means full paisa vasool for the umm 25 percent empty Chinnasamy crowd. Walking off the steps, where Vada Pav and the not so tasty Veg -not a biryani- was forty rupees less than it cost during the game, wondered how worse would have been the situation for RCB had it not been for DD. Thank you Delhi  Dardevils for being utter shit and helping us save our grace every single time. 

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Nawab 2.0

He is the prince. He has arrived. He is your next king. He is Virat Kohli.

Seeing him bat with discipline and responsibility, Allan Donald is reminded of Sachin Tendulkar. The devastating style of batting along with overflowing passion reminded Sir Vivian Richards, arguably the most dangerous batsman ever, of himself.  With the retirement of Sachin Tendulkar, Ian Chappell believes Virat Kohli is the batsman that every bowler fears to bowl at.

There is not one country he has played and not scored a century in. There is not one dull moment on crease with him hogging the strike. Between the trademark, effortless drives through the covers, back foot punches and mid-wicket pulls, there is not one shot he cannot play. Be it inside out over wide long off or be it a flick to mid-on or be it a nudge to fine leg, he has almost every shot in his book. Strong off the front and back foot, he has an exquisite batting style and an orthodox technique. Add cheetah’s legs between the wickets and a picture perfect front foot defense to that. What you get is a near perfect batsman and arguably the best in this era. 

A cursory glance at his numbers will reveal his clout. A piece on Virat Kohli without his prowess on chasing is incomplete. His determination is second to none and that has made him the master of chases. Batting second, in the 75 innings, Kohli averages 63.43 at a strike rate of 92.03 with twelve centuries. However when the equation is successful run chases, the numbers gets even bigger. He, with his bat, has lead India to victory 64% of times he has batted in the second innings at an average of 84.40 and a strike rate of 95.98 while doing so.

The intimidating style of his batting however can be understood what happens to the team when he has a rare failure. India has lost 45 ODI games with Virat Kohli's name in the team sheet. Breaking down,

1) India lost sixteen times when he has got out for a score less than or equal to ten.

2) When he has managed to score something between  11-20, 21-30 and 31-40, India lost 7, 3 and 4 games respectively.

So, to conclude, his failure to score at least 41 runs equates to 66%(30 out of 45) of total losses.

So what happened when he managed to score more than 40 in the remaining 34%(15 out of 45) of games we lost? He went on to make at least a fifty and outscored his teammates in twelve out of fifteen games giving his best. (Thirteen fifties and two centuries)

This is what Virat Kohli is. When he sets his eyes on a target, he is unstoppable. When he smashed Malinga and co. in Hobart, Sourav Ganguly said that he could hardly believe what he was watching. George Bailey wondered if there is a way to get him out when he went on to score the fastest century by an Indian. 

Having established himself as the leader of Indian ODI batting line up there were always a few murmurs on his ability to bat in tests prior to the tour of South Africa. No one answers critics as he does. This time his answer was a 119 and 96 against the world’s best bowling attack in their backyard. He didn’t stop. Napier and Wellington were the latest to witness -what Adelaide, Colombo, Hambantota, Dhaka, Johannesburg, Hobart, Harare, Cardiff, Port of Spain and various Indian cities did- this guy from Delhi mastering the art the batting.

Virat Kolhi is the top scorer in ODIs since his debut. Sangakkara who played 8 more ODI games since then is 61 runs behind. The next best Indian batsmen, Dhoni is 999 runs behind. In tests where he is supposedly not ‘that good’, he has the most runs scored for India since his debut.

In a nation that grew up idolizing batting in Sunil Manohar Gavaskar & Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar, Virat Kohli is all set to become the next superstar, if he isn't already.

There must be something that sets him apart from millions, no?

He is talented. But as they say, having the talent is one, using to the fullest is another. He is one of the rare ones who does. He is determined. He is a hard worker. He has a good knowledge of the game. He learns from his mistakes. More importantly he adapt himself.

Dravid recently said how Virat sought advises from himself and Sachin Tendulkar way before the series in South Africa. Martin Crowe who is happy to be called as ‘Virat Kohli fan’ is proud of his former pupil who has learned to play straighter and better than what he used to in 2008.

The unfathomable commitment, that attitude of leading the team from the front, the determination to give anything and everything to the team makes him what he is - a Champion.



[ Images from Google, Cricinfo, NDTV]

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Tender Foot Virtuoso.

                       "If you can imagine it, you can achieve it.
                                                If you can dream it, you can become it.
                        All our dreams can come true.
                                               If you we have the courage to pursue them."
                                                                                                                     -- Walt Disney.



Nothing is impossible. After all, how hard it could be to dream & play cricket in a country that breathes more cricket & less oxygen? It could be. When you come from the country's one of the most if not the most politically disturbed places. And Geographically not at all suitable for cricket. Laid in the serene beauty of the snowclad Himalayas under the mountaneous Karakoram valley & to the west of the Tibetan Plateau, almost 1,073 metres above the sea level in the Northmost part of the Indian Subcontinent, resides the once peaceful state of Jammu & Kashmir. A place of breathtaking Lanscapes & breathtaking (technically) blasts, not left behind from the rest of country's cricketing megalomanacy is all set to watch one of its sons take the field in blue in Zimbabwe in a few weeks.


Not even close to the best of facilities. Yet here we are discussing the first ever (Statewise, overall third, after Vivek Razdan & Suresh Raina) Kashmiri to don  the blues. He goes by the name of Parvez Ghulam Rasool Zargar. Hailing from the beautiful "Town Of Chinars", Bijbehara, a small town on the banks of river Jhelum, the Parvez Rasool saga is worth it all. Like 8 out of the 10 cricket aspirants, his cricketing influence reflected upon from his father himself, at a very early age. "Parents wanted their children to study," says his father Ghulam Rasool Zargar, "to become doctors or engineers. But I always wanted my children to follow cricket." Ghulam himself was a roller operator in the government's mechanical engineering department but his passions seemed to be more engaged in the cricket he played at District level. The growing civil unrest in the Valley put paid to any cricketing aspirations he might have had but he was determined that things will be different for his boys, Parvez, Asif & Umar. "You have to be lucky to be born into suh a family," Parvez says, "for whom cricket is more than an amusement, a game for kids who can't excel at Science or Mathematics." The 24 year old Rasool took up cricket rather seriously playing first for his school, then J&K U-14 & U-16 teams followed by some club cricket representing the Bijbehara Sports Club, a prominent & renowned base for the cricketers hailing from Central & South valleys of Kashmir. There he chanced upon the expert eyes of once Jammu's Poster Boy of cricket, Abdul Qayoom. "When I first saw him in the nets, he would bat well and keep wickets. Then one day, he insisted on bowling to the tail-enders. He finished them off one by one and then I knew, he was a talent, a real all-rounder."

2008 :

Soon his cricketing prowess earned him a shift to the Capital, Srinagar, where he came under the selection radar to play for the U-19 & U-22 sides. In an U-22 CK Naidu Trophy match of 4 days against Himachal Pradesh, Rasool took 5-78 & hit the winning runs scoring a brisk 21* as J&K thumped HP by 6 wickets. An upset nevertheless & the main reason behind the upset, Rasool, found himself getting a quick call-up to the Senior Ranji side in no time. [ Scorecard ]

Cometh November 16, a bright eyed 18 year old made his debut against the Ranji side of neighbours, Himachal Pradesh. But, it didnt fold the fairytale way. Inexperience was taken for a toll as Rasool gave away 58 & 85 runs in both the innings at a less less less than impressive economy rate of 5.27 & 5.31 respectively, without picking up a single wicket. His handy contribution of 40 in the first innings came to no use as the mighty Himachal Pradesh thumped Kashmir by 480 big runs.

Dreams suffered a landslide first up, indeed.

Parvez, like many others in the team never had any giant leaps or whatever you would call them. His growth was a gradual one. More like one stair at a time rather than rocketing to the top of the staircase at once. He had a promising first year(2004/05) in the Vijay Merchant trophy. He never knew the at that time, the guy smashing 179 against his team will be his first national captain one day. His dual role helped his cause and was retrained for the next edition. Results aside, that season turned out to be a successful one for this man. 202 runs and 16 wickets.
The 'gradual' was evident yet again. He found his name in the limited overs team for the next year and retained his position in the longer format. Though the transformation from the U17 to U19 didn't work that well, he picked up his U19 form in his second year (2007-08)  by picking up 8 wickets against Jharkand. He picked up his batting by hitting a fluent 78 against Goa as the tournament went on. He took his team to the Cooch Behar trophy semifinals securing fourth place. A general observation here is he always peaked with the time. 

2009 :

Early 2009, right after his 19th Birthday, Rasool made his List A debut in a Vijay Hazare Trophy game against Delhi with his soon to be National Captain Mr. Kohli hitting him all over the park yet again & scoring 102 runs leaving poor Rasool with an Economy rate of 7.25. No prize for guessing, Delhi won the match 112 runs.

But the year 2009 in Pervez Rasool's career, rather sadly shall be marked for some other reason.

That was the first time the Jammu and Kashmir team traveled outside the North zone. Rasool, fresh from a five-fer against Orissa, along with his friends were excited without knowing the national limelight will be on their side within a couple of days. And not in the best possible way.

ICC Champions Trophy was underway. Rasool and his fellow J&K cricketers were staying at the KSCA complex at the Chinnaswamy Stadium in Bangalore which happened to be the very same place where a match between Victoria & Cape Cobras was about to begin. Rasool was seized & taken into custody with a "suspicious bag with suspected explosives" causing the match a 2 hours delay & ultimately being a 17 over a side affair. Fortunately, it turned out to be "just" a suspect as the Karnataka based Forensic laboratory (FSL) cleared Rasool's forensic reports & charges.

"I always knew I would get a clean chit. Today, I have been proven innocent, but I request the Police not to let such things happen to anyone else, be it a cricketer or a common man. A small mistake can ruin someone's life." But well well well, guy turned out to be very much a Man of Steel. Four days after the Explosives-in-bag-fiasco, Rasool finaly did what he came to do in Bangalore. "Pick up a bat, get in the middle & play some cricket."

And he did play some cricket, scoring 68 against Karnataka. "After the day's play he mentioned three times in six minutes about his disappointment of missing out on a century." Gushed then J&K coach Abdul Qayoom. "The whole team stood up to applaud him & five team mates along with the support staff went downstairs to shepherd him in tapping his helmeted head hard."

Rasool did find some redemption. He scored a couple of half centuries in the Mumbai match to follow.
"I was determined to show that I am a cricketer and not a terrorist," roared a pumped up Rasool after his very well made 68 and 35 against the hosts Karnataka after that dreadful experience of him which he describes like this "Mentally, it was the most difficult phase of my life. I have been touring the country since my under-15 days, but I have never faced a situation like this before. So, you can well imagine what I must have gone through,"

He even raised a question which almost everyone knew the answer. "While other players kept moving around, I sat in my room and kept thinking: why me?"

Someone would have said him. India is that place where they fake encounters with all the prejudice. Politics aside. Anyone would have given up and he even thought "I shouldn't have come." He swept aside all those thoughts and this says why he is here travelling abroad with the Indian team.

"And I let my bat do the talking for me this time."
The building blocks of a fighter in making were polished that day. 

2010, 11, 12 :

A couple of wickets and a century at no.6 against Andhra Pradhesh in 2010, 5 wickets and 45 runs against Goa in the following were the notable games in his early Ranji career. However 2012/13 was the difference. He had good games and brilliant games all along. Most special of the lot being a game against Assam where he claimed a 5-for to go with a fantastic century. It was a selector-shakable-consistency if you could put it that way.

2013 :

It was time all the hard work, all the struggle paid off. And it did.
First he got a place in the the India A squad to play against England in a warmup in New Delhi, he was the first cricketer from the state & second Kashmiri to do so. He was also the lone cricketer to be picked from J&K to star in the Deodhar Trophy squads in consecutive years, under the captaincy of Virat Kohli.

Then came an Board's President XI call up to combat the visiting Aussies just in he nick of the Border Gavaskar Trophy. Clueless Kangaroos lost 9 wickets to spin on the first in Chennai & 7 of them were to the very Parvez Rasool. [ Scorecard ]

The National selectors invited him to join the National Team's camp. "I was so happy," says Parvez, still visibly elated, "to be a part of the side, to bowl against Dhoni & Sehwag." As if its sill quite unbelievable, he adds "I travelled with them on the bus and they talked to me, joked with, shard their experiences." Boy, he's going to have to get used to it, soon.




With some stunning Domestic performances under the belt, the Pune Warriors India picked up Rasool in the IPL auction. And guess what? His first IPL wicket turned out to be none other than Kallis. He did savour the moment to the fullest. Later credited Yuvi for inputs. Modest lad.

The showdown occured late afternoon, 5th of July. Resting the seniors for an inconsequential Zimbabwe tour, Sandeep Patil & Co. decided to give the lad from Jammu a big nod in the Touring 15.

Parvez Rasool made the Headlines again. This time around, for the correct reasons though.

"Because we are Kashmiri, because of the bad times we have been through, we are the subject to so much suspicion. Now you see, when we go to play in Mumbai, we shall be treated with the same suspicion again for all this." Coach Qayoom's words reflected upon not Rasool entirely. Small town. Indifferent circumstances. Huge dreams. He is not just a talented young man equipped with impressive cricketing abilities. He is much more. And beyond. He is what Kashmir is. He represents. He reflects. Ever since India's independence in 1947, Kashmir has been the central of all the worry. Continious intrusions-invasions by various National & International forces combined with poor social-political infrastructure & lack of proper administrative concern have only lightened the fire further. Also, the cold shiver you feel the moment you hear "Kashmir", the continious media allegations of the Youth from the hills preferring guns over roses & bombs over proses have only worsened the case of the beautiful valley.

What we forget? We forget that dreams know no bounds or place or politics.

That is where my friends, among all the ruins, the ashes, the blood, the cries, the trials & tensions, someone picked up a ball and a bat & dared to dream. And dream big. & here he is.

Small town boys and their stories are always fairytalesque. Just because they would have heard more bleak backtalks than the encouraging ones. Beating odds against yourself & yet thriving to succeed is always sweet. It requires determination, love for the profession, self confidence and more importantly deaf ears to all those dismaying people. In that way Rasool is already a hero. We have always heard assassinations, assaults, wars, border issues, gun shots and explosions with kashmir. Now for a change, a cricketer. From Kashmir. This what you call a fairytale.

Maybe its Kashmir's reminder of being there after all these. Letting us know that there is more, more to Kashmir. Even if its impossible. Inspiring its misguided Youth with a lionheart.

That is why, Ladies & Gentlemen, Parvez Rasool is special. And the Parvez Rasool story, even more.





[Credits : Cricinfo & cricketarchives.com (stats), Tehelka & Google Images]

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Champions Trophy Preview : Will The Blue Prevail?

IPL IS OVERRRRRR! IPL IS OVERRRRRR!

Hey you yellow & hey you blue, & you, yes you red & you purple, its time to unite.

Take a breath. You have 15 boring overs to chill in the middle & it still wont be gone in a blink.

Oh yes. The 50 overs are crawling back to contention after some heavy dose of Boom-bang-booom.

About time we move on to the omelette from the boiled one. As Mr. Shashtri would say "Quality Cricket" with no meaningless games and run rate boosting minnow bashing. Although the quality of the teams will differ from South Africa to India to Pakistan to NewZealand, every team on their days is capable of winning the other seven.

Check the blue jerseys.

Check the "Go go go Virat" chants.

Check the "Jeetega bhai jeetega, India jeetega" prayers.

Check the mighty superstitions.

THE CHAMPIONS TROPHY IS HERE.

[Issued in viewers' interest : The following article may or may not suffer from major IPL hangovers, occasionally. Although we promise to behave ourselves as much as we can, blame goes out to the grueling bit of cricket (& off-cricket-all-the-wrong-things-too) that took place in the last month or so. Happy reading & sorry in advance!]

However, back to business  what can we expect from the team with five CSKians, three Sun Risers, two Mumbai Indians, two Royal Challengers, two Daredevils and a lone (ex) Warrior ? (#oksorry )

Unlike most of the other selections in the near & a bit distant past, the one for the CT was less outrage-worthy. Like, much. To the utter surprise (i.e : disappointment) of the average cricket pundit, the selectors showed some mostly invisible guts and left out Viru from the probable 30 & ultimately dropping Gauti & Yuvi on the D-day.

Well done, gentlemen! (?) Claps please!
But, a flawless XV, not to be.

Maybe Sandeep Patil & co. were trying to pay a tribute to Cheeka.

Picked Murali Vijay. Why? He showed some form. Format? Tests. When? At home against the kangaroos.

Uh oh. How nice of you guys. See, I'm not trying to rub salt or pepper or chilly. But he averages 17.81 in ODIs, 10.00 overseas (6.00 if you exclude Zim) & well, 22.28 in the just concluded IPL season. (He really did fail in the final even. Yeah, still can't believe.) 
Now thats very unattractive.

Che Pu would've been apt. The technique to deal the bounce & the patience to digest Dhawan-Virat's fury. Boy, he could've been some package. Le sigh yougaiz.

And Irfan's quota, to fault the wise men, could've considered the ever so economical Md. Shami from the Pakistan series. & PK has his amusing off field activities to blame & thus we miss out on seeing the Kumars together, again. Even maybe a surprise package could be arranged in the form of a Siddharth Kaul or an Ishwar Pandey.

OKAY FINE, JUST SAYING.

It feels weird to not to outrage selections. Tcha. Habit you see.

Who are we? Indians!

What do we do? Play cricket!

How do we do? Bat our way to victory!

Now then, the men with the key. As the Gautis & Virus are on a break (hopefully a long one), its time for the moustache to deliver. Da.one ofcourse. But the debate lies within the position of his partner. DK(hopefully his injury is quickly heal-able), Sir Vijay & Rohit. If fit, DK should be the obvious choice because even be the middle order crowded like a office time tube, thinking out of the box straighaway is simply not MSD.

But, that was 'should'. 'Would' will be Vijay! Dont give that damned look people, you know why.

Keys are Dr.3 & Mr.5. Virat fires, we win. Raina fires, we win. Their job is to get to a likely spin disaster & Ishant-mess proof total. Sorry guys, you two need to pull your socks as high up as possible.

In the middle, Mr. Talented looks like getting a chance to prove his omnious lazy elegance, yet again.

But mind you Rohit, this might well be the last. You might have won a trophy beating your very own captain less than a week back but who knows, next time the selectors might get lazy & forget to pick you. Get it lad?

Nothing to say about MSD. Captain knows his favourite format better than all of us combined.

No.7 is tricky. Ideally it should be Irfan because you really dont see the selectors favouring him for anything else other than it being UK & him being a Fast bowling allrounder. May Sir Jadeja blesses him from the bench. Amen.

How we should line up :

Dhawan, DK, Virat, Rohit, Raina, MSD*, Irfan.

How we shouldn't :

Dhawan, Vijay, Virat, Rohit/DK, Raina, MSD*, Jadeja.

Never a stronghold. Will never be. Will always lack something. Existence of same old problems which goes back to old, not so good or good back then yet outdated solutions.

Like getting back to Irfan. He was proven. He has the experience. Reputation too. Form? Who cares. That is how Indian cricket works. Though we have no choice but to give him a go and hope he lives at least upto half of his next Kapil Dev tag (Strictly on cricketing terms and not fixing) which revolved around earlier. Half will do. Or bit less than half even. Something is better than nothing when you consider the fact that next world cup is there in down under.

Here is one Kumar of Indian bowling and he has no criminal cases against him. He is fresh and swings it both the ways around. Meet Mr. Bhuvaneshwar Kumar. In some brilliant form, he is one of our hopes. In fact, he is our strength.

India should go for a lone spinner and is Ashwin really good enough ?

Ashwin who has played his 20% of games outside subcontinent has a poor wicket tally (seven wickets in ten matches at an average of 54.28) and a terrible strike rate (60.8) which is almost double when compared with his sub continent statistics. Amit Mishra on the back of a brilliant IPL who has no significant international numbers to back or neglect- with his corrections to his no ball problems- could well be a choice. With numbers not in his support Ashwin should not consider himself as first choice which is the case for Mishra too. Anyway with the tag of lead Indian spinner (Sorry. He may well just be the go-to-man in India) he could (he will) get into the eleven and We can only hope that , somehow Dhoni rather comes out of the mental block to try and test than dwell on a fixed mindset.

So you might have a question here.

If not Ashwin, then who else? Well. Not exactly. Like the Indian spearhead, Indian lead spinner is also a polished myth as of now. Nice attractive and catchy words, isn't it?

How we should line up ?

Bhuvi, Umesh, Ishant/RVK, Irfan, Ashwin/Mishra.

How we shouldnt?

Any attack with Jaddu. Because we are not playing in India.

And finally, a request or two for the pseudo old man (Look at his beard, dude.) & the real old man.

Dearest Skipper & Mr. Goggles,

• Please give the random stupid selections on board a break. Not to go by reputations & all. (C'on, they won't do those this time around. Will they? Yes? Ouch.)
• Not to play the ones that might risk the fate of our campaign. e.g Vijay & Jaddu.   (As to quote our Skipper Fantastic, "Horses for Courses.")
• Lets NOT offer a (by-all-chances-non-performing-yet-soooo-talented) Rohit a lot of merci. He has had enough when it comes to the blue jersey. Time to hit out or sit out, really.
• Beware of the Africans. They have one bearded genius in their ranks. Then their wicketkeeper batsman can bat a bit to be honest. Plus there is that one beast by the name of Dale Steyn. Although we have a colossal stat of never losing a game to them in CT (Yes. Two out of two. Achievement. No?) But still, beware.
• Last but not least, the off-field issues over the last couple of weeks have been beyond disappointment & distraction. But lets not the dark of betrayal & guilt not hit the boys in blue. Atleast giving it a shot-able, no doubt.

Have had enough, enough, absolutely enough overseas affliction in the last couple of years. Now, just when we started to dream of a crown earned in not so favourable conditions, the darkest era of cricket in India decided to hit us. Hard.

Does that give enough reasons for why we, the battered fans, the scarred pundits would love to see the trophy coming home?

Oh please. Who are we again? We are Indians. Whatever happens, cricket lives on with us. It flows in those veins, man. We can't help it. Like a constant from one of the Physics journals.

Good luck guys.

Asking for a soothing performance for these jaded cricket-corrupt-hearts.

May you return victorious.

(Nothing wrong in hoping. Okay? Okay.)

[ P.S : This preview was written before the mute (almost), reluctant (much), cautious (very) press conference by the respected Captain of the Indian Cricket Team after reaching Birmingham.

                                                                                 i.e : We were a bit lazy to re-edit.]

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Next Time Maybe?

"The Royal Challengers Of Bangalore or The Royal Chokers?"

"Hard to believe its RCB & not the South Africans."

"So near yet so far, yet another season of absolute agony for the boys in Red & Gold."

"Its all about Chris Gayle really."

Hi. I am an ardent RCB supporter.

Been there but never done that.

But Chokers? BULLSHIT I SAY!

To choke, you need a team, where is my team?

Season 6, done & dusted, about time we should look into what all went wrong for us. Like the last season. & the last last season. & okay fine, lets not dwell on the fact that the luring trophy of The Indian Premier League travels to our neighbourhood every other year but adamant to spend a night with us even.

Fault is ours, really.

Cricket is what? A team game. Right, RCB ain't got a team. It althought isn't a "One man army" as the newspapers would suggest you. Its more like a "One superman & Two men Army". To be precise. Christopher not-so-human Henry Gayle. Abraham all-around-the-park Benjamin de Villiers. & ofcourse Captain, Virat Kohli. Let the numbers help us a bit. In the 15 games played this season, Trio/Total team runs is 1613/2465. Now thats some 65% of the entire runs & 11 of all the 13 fifties scored. & its a bit unacceptable.

You could compare RCB's batting line-up with a chewing gum. The cheap one that gets tasteless in very quick time. You take out 1, 3, 4 out of it, you ain't got a line-up any more but some "extremely talented" guys trying to slog all the time, that too, unsuccesfully.

The Saurabh Tiwarys, Mayank Agarwals, Rahuls have taken too long to come to the party. & the party is still running.

WHERE ARE THEY?

We are in need of an Ambati Rayudu or a Stuart Binny. Really. No more Tiwarys, please.

So that was the batting outrage.

Hold on to your seats.

Here comes the bowling outrage.

Wait a minute.

RCB's got a bowling attack?

Neither a bowling nor an attack.

RCB possesses 4 guys who come in running with a white ball every match. For the sake of a game.

Because? Formalities.

Often known as the 200s club team (i.e who gives away 200 & scores 200), The Royal Challengers form a bowling line-up that gets hit out of the park regularly at the death.

& regularly in the powerplay too.

& regularly in the middle, alas, yes, that too.

If batting line up was a chewing gum, bowling is the wrapper of the gum. No, I'm not being critical. It is what it is.

Good for nothing.

You could classify the RCB bowlers into three categories

The good & The Potentially good - Rampaul & RVK.
The good on their days - Unadkat & Murali Karthik.
Below par, mostly (I'm being modest) - RP Singh, Abhimanyu Mithun, Dan Christian, Moises Henriques & (heartbroken to say) Muralidharan.

Firstly, none to strike, to spearhead, to lead.

Like a Dale Steyn.

Or a Mitch Johnson.

& none to compliment either.

Like An Ishant to Steyn. Or a Senanayake to Naraine.

Or a Watson. or a Kallis.

Then, stupid selections. Its as hard as it gets. However the worst one was reserved for the must win encounter against KXIP at Bangalore. Murali who has been worse than his worst giving away 40s & 30s every other game was selected ahead of Murali Kartik. The good old "only four overseas players rule" forced Rampaul to warm the bench. Anyway Dan overrated Christian getting two games says it.

Breathe in, breathe out. Bowling. Yay.

Fielding up next.

This particular season, its been pretty average inclined towards poor. Its a shame to say so when your team consists of Virat Kohli & AB de Villiers. But Captain, to his utter poor fate, missed a few.

Of the all, the Miller one will go down in history if it hasn't already.

Ah and yes the away encounter at the Feroz shah Kotla. The team that is competing for the wooden spoon and the team that almost forgot the winning ways nearly coasted to victory and that stands one of the worst ever fielding displays you would ever see. There is more to it actually and this should sum up things. With four runs off last two balls needed Vihari and Steyn were allowed a couple where one run itself was supposed to be tough.

Happens, yes. But Virat, you did drop the match, son.

& maybe the playoff spot too.

& if you ask me, too many "slow-movers" for comfort.

But you really can't blame the fielding much when there ain't much to field. Not joking.

THE BALL IS IN THE AIR ALL THE TIME, MAN.

& out of the park, ofcourse.

Ladies & Gentlemen, this doesn't mark the end.

Two ultra-dreaded things.

One Virat blames for his grey locks at 24.

(& he really has got a few.)

Other AB swore never to be a part of, again.

Yes guys, last balls & Super Overs.

Every single word uttered till now results in these two. What you could say, the combined failure. We took match winning scores to last overs & then last balls & eventually, came second a number of times.

And spare a thought for those two super overs. With Steyn bowling the one first night, one would easily assume the result & it spanned as much as the assumption. Next one, probably bored from the result of the first, Rampaul somehow dragged the sinking ship ashore.

Now that hurts. Big time.

And finally to sum up, RCB should change everything except the top three. Probably the best ever you could say. And auctions cant come at a better time. Retain Gayle, Virat, ABDV and Vinay[Yes, I am serious. He -If I have a good memory- is also a million dollar man and a wicket taking Indian bowler(if not pacer) who could well do a supporting role to a world-class strike bowler.]

Shopping list :

1)A strike bowler

2)A proper fielding coach

3)Anchor batsmen or the crisis man. Badrinath mould. To save the sinking ship.

4)In ABDV we have world's best finisher and we need another Indian finisher who is atleast half of the South African. Binny mould. Finish it off.

5)It's Indian premier league and it's happening in India. Always Out of favour Murali Kartik, No form, only reputation Murali, Errr who Syed Mohammed. Spin. Win.

6)A genuine allrounder. Watson or Perera or Kallis mould. Hit to victory. Strike to crucial breakthroughs. & most importantly, balance the entire seesaw.

Inspite of whatever happens (RCB qualifying/missing out playoffs), this season has been a disappointment. And even (-that is highly impossible- if RCB qualifies, It is even more impossible to overcome one of the best ever T20 team and the mighty Indians from Mumbai given the form of the team away.

Bravo, Virat. Given that you shall be a better leader next time.

& do not drop Miller again. Okay?

More like a 5.5/10 on the final report card.

(Being a tough teacher is much fun. Ha!)

Adios. Project IPL(VII). Fingers crossed.

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